Finally, a few moments of rest...Tomorrow!! Rachel and I have been non-stop for the last few weeks. We had a very successful VBS last week--we started Monday with 29 kids and ended on Thursday with over 50! It was beyond exhausting--we easily put in around 15 hours a day, and maybe got 6 hours of sleep a night, plus add the whole "Speaking in Spanish" thing on top of it, and we were beyond beat at the end of the week. But, it was more than worth it. We pray, and ask that you will too, that the stories of Noah, Jonah, the Paralitic, and the Resurrection of Christ will be on those children's hearts for forever and will spark curiosity and discussion between them and their parents, and help raise them up to be future leaders of Christ's church. Furthermore, we pray that it was another way that the church showed the community that their doors are always open and that the church herself, learned more about the importance of evangelism and teaching.
We spent Friday through Sunday in the Darien and Chepo provinces of Panama. If you know anything about Panama, you know that tourists and most Panamanians never travel to Darien, because of the common violent sprees between the Colombian terrorists and civilians. For one day, we were accompanied by two policemen with very large guns. Although it sounds scary, because of this trip, there is potentially an entire village of Embera and Wounaan indians who will now be receiving humanitarian aid from the church, and Lord willing, will have strengthened faiths and lives. It's a good lesson in conquering the fear that Satan so often puts in us--God will conquer, He always does, and despite the potential consequencies, we, Christians, have to tell the world about Him who lives, or they may die without ever knowing their Lord.
I want to write more, but it is already very late and I am beyond tired. Rachel and I have the rest of this week off and we are going to be hiding in the mountains for a few days in an area that I can only compare to Gatlinburg, but a million times better--we hope to be hiking in the rainforest, taking a mud bath for $1, horseback riding, and maybe, if Rachel's dreams come true, zip-lining through the jungle. But, we also are planning to use this time to really reflect what God is doing in our lives here in this place, and how we can better server His people here. I plan to bury myself into a cave with CS Lewis' Mere Christianity (thanks to Coleman for helping me pick it out last fall), my journal, and my Bible. Please pray for us, that we will grow closer to Him and the path that He has before us, working always to help make His perfect will complete. Pray also for our readers, that they will not forget the words of the Lord that they were studying. Also, Rachel's throat is not feeling too well, and we are a little concerned that she might have caught what I had two weeks ago and am still fighting the remains of, so please pray for her health and for both of our bodies that are so very tired!
Love to you all! Thank you for all your encouraging notes, emails, and posts. Even though we can't write you back all the time, know that we thank God for your prayers, smiles, and time that you share with us!
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
Here are two more links for pictures!
Vacation Bible School--Mi Dios es Tan Grande (My God is So Big) http://harding.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2064121&l=9ccb6&id=71000688
Darien and Torti (Where we spent the night where there is one of the only congregations in Panama that has elders)--http://harding.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2064224&l=2ef3a&id=71000688
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
New Pictures!!
It has been a long and exhausting week of Vacation Bible School and reading sessions. We started VBS Monday with 29 kids, Tuesday with 40, and Wednesday with 48. Tomorrow is our last day, and we are expecting to have over 50! Please pray for these children and ask God to put it on their hearts and minds to return for Sunday School each week!! Rachel and I also will leave for a trip to the Darien province to visit the rural, jungle churches there. We will meet with an indigenous church as well as go spear fishing with the Embera--who still wear loin cloths!!! Please keep us in your prayers though, as we are going to very rural areas, one being a place that the police will take us to in their boat. Please pray that we will be an encouragement to the brethren there, shine His life to the police, and will be kept safe and healthy!
Thanks for the prayers as always! Also, please pray for Carolina and Felicidad, two of my readers who, Lord willing, will be starting Bible studies ASAP.
I posted new pictures, so take a look when you get a chance. You can get to them by following this link: http//www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2063186&l=39de1&id=71000688 Rachel posted some as well, so check her blog, too!!
Thanks for the prayers as always! Also, please pray for Carolina and Felicidad, two of my readers who, Lord willing, will be starting Bible studies ASAP.
I posted new pictures, so take a look when you get a chance. You can get to them by following this link: http//www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2063186&l=39de1&id=71000688 Rachel posted some as well, so check her blog, too!!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
...and here we are...
Another week has passed in my journey through Panama, and I wish I could count the many times that Rachel has said, "Oh, to be a fly on the wall watching us." or "If only someone else could see what a ridiculous mess we're making right now." For those who know us well, and especially know us as "Rachel and Jami", the team, the troublemakers, the adventurers, the secretly blondes, you knew when we decided to scourge the seas together and travel afar to the skinny isthumus we now call home that in your kindness you knew it to be necessary to pray for the land to which we travel, asking us often, "Does Panama know what they are getting into?" So, as we press on to an unexpecting day each morning, I felt compelled to share with with you the lessons we have learned thus far in our little time here.
1. Youth Conventions...some things that the Panamanians forgot to mention in warning to the gringas:
* All conventions are BYOTP...sound it out, yes, we learned the hard way!
*One would think that purchasing sleeping bags for church camp to be a good idea, and since they sell them at a number of stores here, one would also think that they are a common church camp object. However, if you want to ensure to get even more stares from confused teenagers, unroll, unzip, and slide in. Don't worry, like Rachel found out, you'll just roll over in the morning to the gazes of curious Panamanian teenagers watching you sleep.
*Somehow in our language challeneged communication, we mistankely packed sports shorts, t-shirts, no make-up, no jewlery, no nice clothes for church camp. Who would have thought that Rachel's first words to me on our first morning there was "Jami, do you see what they're wearing". The phrase, "dressed in ribbons and curls" took on an entirely new meaning. Church camp attire here is lacey shirts, high heels, makeup, and a new outfit every few hours. And we were scared we'd pack more than the others!
*Did i mention, BYOTP?
*When the youth group suggests doing the skit on Joseph, and therefore speaking in jibberish aka "Egyptian", it's a creative idea, especially when you can just continue speaking English and no one will ever know the difference. (At one point, Odilio, one of the boys from Curundu, asked Isaac, the missionaries' son and our "Panamanian brother" if I was speaking English or jibberish)
*Entertainment consists of daring a boy to run up, wave, and say "where are you from?" to the gringas and running away.
*The middle school boys are not too shy to sit and stare at you for the entirity of the worship service and sermon.
*Panama youth convention food is better than US youth rally/camp food. For sure.
2. When teaching a Panamanian a US Tex-Mex favorite called Taco Salad, make sure to actually buy lettuce and not cabbage. Otherwise, when she goes to teach her husband and others the receipe she will excitedly list cabbage aka "repollo" as a main ingredient and include it next time she makes it. Woops. And, in case you were wondering, cabbage in the taco salad did not taste good the first time when we made it or the second time when she made it!
3. When the missionary parks illegally at the bus terminal, blocking several vehicles in their spaces and leaves you in the car saying as he departs, "Do you know how to drive one of these? (Meaning a stick)...No, then just push it", you should run out and follow him. Do not stay in the car unattended, because, as Rachel and I learned, within seconds of his disappearance, a huge pick up will come at you followed by another car, all laying on their horns for you to move, at which point you are laughing so hard and attempting to drive a standard car that you become frantic and the car of course stalls out. Then, you hear someone coming at you yelling, "Hey! Hey!", and you will of course assume it is the big man with the big truck coming to get you, so in order to protect you and your friend, you will not only now try to manage to drive this car but also roll up the window at the same time, just to see it's the missionary returning with the brother he was picking up and all he knows is that his car is somewhat driving away and that the last thing the gringas said was that they did not know how to drive!...Learning to drive a stick was on my list of things to do before I left...the list that I did not fully complete.
4. Country music is the "real" music of the United States. Or, at least, this is what I've told them. And, later changed.
5. Do not get in a taxi late at night if he has a knife stabbed into the dashboard and the inside door handles ripped out of the door, allowing him to be the ONLY one who can let you out! Check this out before you start down the road with him.
6. The "real deal" Americans apparently have blonde hair and blue eyes. A direct quote said to me and Rachel was, "I was expecting blondes. You girls look Latina. So, you're not the real deal, right?"
7. When you attempt to make an American treat for an English class and the cookie dough goes crazy for whatever reason and the cookies look more like baked peanut butter smudges, it's ok, because you're the American and they're the Panamanian and you can tell them whatever you want to tell them it is and they'll just think it's some weird North American thing, kinda like taco cabbage.
So, if you can't tell, Rachel and I are having our fair share of challenges, surprises, and laughs along the way. We had a horribly hard day yesterday of back blistering mission work. We spent the day with two of my readers, Karolina and Betel, introducing them to some other girls from church, hoping it will help them form more relationships with the church and entice them to visit one day or desire to know more about Him. I say back blistering because the sun really took it's toll on my upper back when we were canoeing in the Pacific, laying on the beach, and exploring the alleys of Isla Taboga, aka the island of flowers. Ya'll, it was tough, but someone had to do it:)
Please continue to keep us in your prayers. Please especially pray for our readers. I want to tell you about Isabel, and ask that you will especially keep her in your prayers. Isabel speaks fantastic English. She's married, a mother of three, and in her early thirties. Isabel and I have spent a lot of time searching the Bible. Through our time together, I have really been amazed by almost being able to see the battle between Satan and the Lord, each fighting for her soul. In one hand she wants to know more and already has a belief in God, but on the other it's almost as if she's scared of what she might learn and therefore embrace, and for this at times, almost seems as if she is trying to disprove the Bible. For this, I have really been trying to study more in preparation with my time with Isabel. Finally, last Wednesday God exposed what has possibly kept her from an intimate relationship with Him--an understanding of the immense love God has for His creation, and from that an inability to recognize that not all will come to call Heaven their eternal home. We have begun to study this together a lot, and I beg that you will pray that her heart and her mind be open to His words. I really am trying to emphasize to her that I will only tell her what the Bible says, not what I think , and I have made a promise to her to be able to follow whatever is said with scripture if I present it to be the Word of God. Pleas pray that God will reveal His word to me so that I might share it with her. I believe that all souls are precious to God, but for some reason, I feel God fighting very strong to win this woman over to Him. Please, please pray for her. She seems to be searching and continuously pursuing a more personal relationship with Rachel and me. She feeds us often, and even went to a movie with us last week. Please keep her in your prayers.
The following is a list of all the individuals Rachel and I are studying English and the book of Luke with right now. Please take a minute to lift their names up to the Lord. Rachel: Sirsa (who is taking us to her parents' farm this upcoming weekend!), Maxima ( a member of the church), Allen (a young, teenage boy), Yazmin (She rents the room below our's), and Renee (A very excited married, father of two). Me: Karolina (she's 24 and went to the beach with us yesterday), Lesliee (she's 18 and started with me in Brisas del Golf), Isabel, Felicia (a strong leader in the Catholic church in this area), Betel (she's 20 and also went to the beach with us yesterday), and Maria (who also started with us in Brisas del Golf). We are also doing a Wednesday night English/Spanish Bible study, singing, and games, and I ask that you will please pray for this effort, as it is a way for us to introduce our readers to members of the church, give them additional language practice, and expose others to the Word and church that our schedules do not allow us to meet with individually on a regular basis. And, please rejoice with us and our nine new, young brothers and sisters in Christ who were baptized at the youth convention! Keep them in your prayers as they begin their renewed lives on this earth and their spiritual journey!
As for me, I went to the doctor last night after the beach and I have some type of Strep throat. I did not go to church this morning, but stayed home to rest and will join the congregation in Brisas del Golf this afternoon. Please pray for our health, as we both do not get a lot of time to rest during the week, and will be traveling the next few weekends. Please pray that Rachel will not get sick while she is so lovingly caring for me!
Lastly, as our brother Paul once wrote to the Ephesians, "Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that i may declare it fearlessly, as I should." Granted I'm not in chains, but please, pray that our words will be His.
Thank you for your prayers. We ask for so many because we know that with faith the size of a mustard seed a mountain can be moved and that whatever we ask the Lord for in His good name with faith He will grant. May it all be to His glory. He is hearing your prayers now and we look forward to us all enjoying these answers to prayer with the souls He saves in Heaven. May God bless you all!
Friday, February 1, 2008
Don't give up on us!
Hey!!
After we get back from the convention...
**New Pictures
**Videos
**Happy Stories
**Funny Stories & Sticky Situation.
I know fam, ,it's taking a while:)
After we get back from the convention...
**New Pictures
**Videos
**Happy Stories
**Funny Stories & Sticky Situation.
I know fam, ,it's taking a while:)
Mis Dos Centavos (My Two Cents)
I can’t believe that Rachel and I have already been here and away from home for over a month. I think about the worries, the excitement, the anxiety that I had leading up to making my dream of coming to Panama a reality, and am astounded at how yet again, God had so much more planned than I ever could have imagined. Rachel and I have adopted a new phrase for when we talk to family and friends and they say, “Tell me about what’s going on Panama”. Our new phrase is, “There’s so much to tell, that it is easier to just not tell than to try to explain it all.” How can I explain what is occurring here in this city? I talked to my friend Coleman the other night and told him that I just simply do not know the words to explain it (A common problem these days with the language barrier, but one that God is revealing Himself more and more each day!) This, partially, is the reason why my blogs have been sparse and not too often. And, granted, we really have no time in the day. Each little hour that we are not reading with someone, we find ourselves frantically preparing for the next person or event, calculating our account to turn in to LST, or contemplating what must be done next. But, for those who know me, you know that this is how I function best (Haley, my college roommate, can attest to that probably better than anyone!) I love the pressure of time, because it is then, that I work the hardest and with the fiercest ambition.
Times in Panama have been crazy already and I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to recounting all that has occurred. We spent two weeks in Brisas del Golf, a place that we never intended to go or to work. We met Janet and Steve, a couple that despite of their own work schedules, children at home, and life obligations, still make time to share the Word of God throughout the world, as they spent two weeks on an LST project. We got to fall in love the Walter and Delores Leonard and to learn from all the work they are doing in this new community. We finished our daily work in Brisas on January 25, but will continue to do follow-up each Sunday afternoon. We will conduct a large English class and then invite our readers to stay for the church services, which meet in Walter’s house, where we do the class. Even though we have been away from Brisas on a regular schedule, we are still staying in touch with several of our readers, and pray that the relationships will continue to grow.
Now we are in Curundu, the area in which we came to Panama expecting to work (How quickly am I learning that plans mean very little when a schedule is on God’s time and not our own!) Three days a week I have an English summer school class. My two students are Julyema (age six) and Javier (age seven). Let me just say that I have NEVER had a desire to be an elementary school teacher (and still do not for that matter!), and that God is funny in taking me where He wants me to go—my first two jobs post-Harding have been as an elementary, language teacher! I am completely convinced that He daily prepares us for His tasks that serve for His greater purpose, unbeknownst, at times, to us! Although at times I feel I lack the patience to work constantly with little children, it is a good lesson for me to learn! Although it takes a lot to grab their attention and hold it (It took my two students an hour to copy three sentences off the board!), it is worth it all when I listen to them sing the sweet words of “This Little Light of Mine” and “I’m All Wrapped Up, Tied Up, and Tangled Up in God” And when little Javier waves his little hand up in my face saying “Esperate, Esperate”—roughly translated, “Hold your horses”, meaning, I want to sing it on my own and show you that I can do it! I just pray, and ask that you will to, that the words of those songs and of the prayers that we pray at the beginning of the class will be revealed to their hearts and bring them that much closer to a true faith in God.
In addition to our summer school, Rachel and I meet with traditional LST readers Monday through Friday in Curundu. I am currently studying with six women who are all searching, whether they know it or not, for the Truth that is found in God’s Word. In Brisas, our sessions and reading times were very relaxed, carefree, and often were more in Spanish conversation than English grammar practice. In Brisas, because of our reader’s limited English skill, we were only able to read Luke at night with the large group, and therefore not be able to give it the individual attention that are needed when one is sharing the Bible with individuals who have never read it. But here, in Curundu, the majority of my “English reading sessions” have turned into Bible studies. I remember training to come to Panama and Terri, my trainer, and Sherrylee, LST founder, saying that “The Word is strong enough to speak for itself”. I never really understood that, until now. Until I’ve read the same story five times in one day, out loud with someone else, and then had to explain it to them in simpler terms, and include the background information so that they can understand just why it was a big deal that the Pharisees didn’t wash Jesus feet when he came to their house or why the Pharisees said that Levi was bad when the Bible only says he was a tax collector. It’s not fair that I already knew that information. And, yes, some is because I have chosen to study, but I never would have chosen to study if I hadn’t been given the opportunity to be raised in a church family and was taught to read and respect the Bible as God’s word.
Everyday I am becoming more and more aware of the lie that Satan has used to deceive the church and myself—people don’t want to learn about God; they already know He exists, they know about Jesus because of TV or Christmas and that if they wanted to know more, they know when the church meets and where the building is so if they wanted to know more, they would come, because, well, that’s what I do and so they can take the initiative too. Likely, if the lost have never read the Bible, how will they know His story, much less know that they SHOULD read the Bible, and let His story become their own. People are hungry for the Truth. What a bold face liar Satan is and how ashamed I am to say that I have taken comfort in this lie time and time again! How dare I expect someone to embrace something of which they know nothing! How dare I want THEM to come to me, when the love of Christ is not mine to keep, but it was shared with me with the instructions to share it with others! How often have I forgotten this and how often am I still forgetting it. And, how often I have forgotten of how I am an example of grace and love, poured out so that I might have the desire to know the Truth, for it is NOTHING that I have done, but rather what He has done within me.
I and floored with the response that people have had in reading the Bible for the first time. Today, after reading Luke’s account of the temptation of Jesus, my 24 year old reader, Karolina, told me, “I like this story…because I come here to learn English, but I am learning about Jesus and I did not know about Him before.” Karolina is someone that when we talk about what we have just read, I can actually see the Lord working in her eyes, I can see her pondering what has been said, I can almost hear her heart crying out for a genuine relationship with the Lord. She wants to know the Truth, needs to know who her Lord is, and know the nature of her creator. As I discussed with Isabel, another reader, I believe that just as children have a natural need to have their parents, humans have a natural need to have their Creator, their Father God, in their lives. And, we will have a huge “daddy hole” until we allow Him into our lives! But, if no one has exposed this deficit in their lives, how will people know, and how will they be prepared to fight against Satan’s schemes?
The great majority of my readers described themselves as Catholics, a Christian religion, and therefore a religion that calls Jesus their Lord, but, somehow, they do not know anything about Him! How many others know nothing about the one they call Lord? And beyond that, how many of us are working for the Lord, yet fail to have a RELATIONSHIP with him. I can’t help but remember Jesus saying, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers.” (Matt. 7:21-23) These are not just people who are Sunday and Wednesday attendees, or people who pray at the time of need, no, these are people who are working for the kingdom, but still lack a relationship with their Lord. How often have I fallen into this trap, into the Martha world of work and no prayer, and no listening? As I tell my readers almost everyday, when we want to know someone, want to have someone in our life, what do we do? We build a relationship with them. How? We talk to them and we listen. We spend time with them. How can we have a relationship with God if we do not listen to what he says, if we do not read His word and dwell in His presence? I am such a hypocrite, because although I know these things, shamefully, how often do I fail to make them occur.
Each day in Panama does not fail to be a challenge to me. By this time, the challenge is not in the physical (I prefer the heat to AC, a cold shower is a tool to cool me off or wake me up, and killing the grande cockroach is exhilarating more than terrifying now!), but rather the challenges of the day are spiritual and emotional. I have had no choice but to stand face to face against my weaknesses, my ignorance, my sins, and my thorns. I am so thankful to be here with Rachel, one of the very top people who knows me best, because she is faithful like her Master to stay beside me as I come to know the ugly side of myself. Because, the truth is, when you are stripped of everything that once covered your flaws (grades, accomplishments, reputation), you easily lie speechless on the floor, feeling vulnerable to even the little fly on the wall.
But, God is so faithful, and He has not stopped being with us each day. Obviously, we would not be here without Him, but I cannot imagine confronting so many ghosts of my own without His grace, His mercy, His forgiveness, His commitment. And, one thing that I have become completely sure of in the little time that we have been in Panama, and really, just since the Bible studies in Curundu have begun, the Bible holds answers for every struggle that we will face in this world. It may take reading the temptation of Jesus ten times in a row to see and truly understand how Jesus overcame Satan and how Satan still used manipulation (even manipulating the very words of God to His own son!), but I have never believed so strongly before that the more we pray for clarity, the more we pray for wisdom, the more we pray for responsibility with His word, the more He fulfills us and reveals His Truth to our unaware minds.
So, I sign off. I cannot tell you how humbled I have been since we landed in Panama over a month ago. Your prayers and thoughts are alive, felt, and answered here more than you ever knew. But please, remember, that the responsibility to share His word is not just for us in Panama, but it is for ALL believers, in the U.S., in Thailand, in Kenya, and beyond. We’re simply doing what our Lord Jesus entrusted us (His church) to do before He ascended back to His throne. It’s not a responsibility that we can payoff our ministers and missionaries to complete, but one that we must do ourselves. All of us. Together. If we all begin to take seriously the message of the Lord, then we can be the aroma of Christ that Paul (2 Cor. 2:15) wrote about so many years ago. I pray that you all are blessed richly in love, truth, and faithfulness, and that your neighbors, will be blessed by your presence in their lives and the Gospel that you may share to them, as it was once shared to you. Please pray the same for me, as well.
Rae and I leave this afternoon for the national youth convention, so please keep us all in your prayers as well travel and as hundreds of young people gather in His name, while the rest of the country is celebrating Carnaval, aka Mardi Gras. Pray for these kids that they will seek Him with all of their hearts, minds, and soul.
Times in Panama have been crazy already and I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to recounting all that has occurred. We spent two weeks in Brisas del Golf, a place that we never intended to go or to work. We met Janet and Steve, a couple that despite of their own work schedules, children at home, and life obligations, still make time to share the Word of God throughout the world, as they spent two weeks on an LST project. We got to fall in love the Walter and Delores Leonard and to learn from all the work they are doing in this new community. We finished our daily work in Brisas on January 25, but will continue to do follow-up each Sunday afternoon. We will conduct a large English class and then invite our readers to stay for the church services, which meet in Walter’s house, where we do the class. Even though we have been away from Brisas on a regular schedule, we are still staying in touch with several of our readers, and pray that the relationships will continue to grow.
Now we are in Curundu, the area in which we came to Panama expecting to work (How quickly am I learning that plans mean very little when a schedule is on God’s time and not our own!) Three days a week I have an English summer school class. My two students are Julyema (age six) and Javier (age seven). Let me just say that I have NEVER had a desire to be an elementary school teacher (and still do not for that matter!), and that God is funny in taking me where He wants me to go—my first two jobs post-Harding have been as an elementary, language teacher! I am completely convinced that He daily prepares us for His tasks that serve for His greater purpose, unbeknownst, at times, to us! Although at times I feel I lack the patience to work constantly with little children, it is a good lesson for me to learn! Although it takes a lot to grab their attention and hold it (It took my two students an hour to copy three sentences off the board!), it is worth it all when I listen to them sing the sweet words of “This Little Light of Mine” and “I’m All Wrapped Up, Tied Up, and Tangled Up in God” And when little Javier waves his little hand up in my face saying “Esperate, Esperate”—roughly translated, “Hold your horses”, meaning, I want to sing it on my own and show you that I can do it! I just pray, and ask that you will to, that the words of those songs and of the prayers that we pray at the beginning of the class will be revealed to their hearts and bring them that much closer to a true faith in God.
In addition to our summer school, Rachel and I meet with traditional LST readers Monday through Friday in Curundu. I am currently studying with six women who are all searching, whether they know it or not, for the Truth that is found in God’s Word. In Brisas, our sessions and reading times were very relaxed, carefree, and often were more in Spanish conversation than English grammar practice. In Brisas, because of our reader’s limited English skill, we were only able to read Luke at night with the large group, and therefore not be able to give it the individual attention that are needed when one is sharing the Bible with individuals who have never read it. But here, in Curundu, the majority of my “English reading sessions” have turned into Bible studies. I remember training to come to Panama and Terri, my trainer, and Sherrylee, LST founder, saying that “The Word is strong enough to speak for itself”. I never really understood that, until now. Until I’ve read the same story five times in one day, out loud with someone else, and then had to explain it to them in simpler terms, and include the background information so that they can understand just why it was a big deal that the Pharisees didn’t wash Jesus feet when he came to their house or why the Pharisees said that Levi was bad when the Bible only says he was a tax collector. It’s not fair that I already knew that information. And, yes, some is because I have chosen to study, but I never would have chosen to study if I hadn’t been given the opportunity to be raised in a church family and was taught to read and respect the Bible as God’s word.
Everyday I am becoming more and more aware of the lie that Satan has used to deceive the church and myself—people don’t want to learn about God; they already know He exists, they know about Jesus because of TV or Christmas and that if they wanted to know more, they know when the church meets and where the building is so if they wanted to know more, they would come, because, well, that’s what I do and so they can take the initiative too. Likely, if the lost have never read the Bible, how will they know His story, much less know that they SHOULD read the Bible, and let His story become their own. People are hungry for the Truth. What a bold face liar Satan is and how ashamed I am to say that I have taken comfort in this lie time and time again! How dare I expect someone to embrace something of which they know nothing! How dare I want THEM to come to me, when the love of Christ is not mine to keep, but it was shared with me with the instructions to share it with others! How often have I forgotten this and how often am I still forgetting it. And, how often I have forgotten of how I am an example of grace and love, poured out so that I might have the desire to know the Truth, for it is NOTHING that I have done, but rather what He has done within me.
I and floored with the response that people have had in reading the Bible for the first time. Today, after reading Luke’s account of the temptation of Jesus, my 24 year old reader, Karolina, told me, “I like this story…because I come here to learn English, but I am learning about Jesus and I did not know about Him before.” Karolina is someone that when we talk about what we have just read, I can actually see the Lord working in her eyes, I can see her pondering what has been said, I can almost hear her heart crying out for a genuine relationship with the Lord. She wants to know the Truth, needs to know who her Lord is, and know the nature of her creator. As I discussed with Isabel, another reader, I believe that just as children have a natural need to have their parents, humans have a natural need to have their Creator, their Father God, in their lives. And, we will have a huge “daddy hole” until we allow Him into our lives! But, if no one has exposed this deficit in their lives, how will people know, and how will they be prepared to fight against Satan’s schemes?
The great majority of my readers described themselves as Catholics, a Christian religion, and therefore a religion that calls Jesus their Lord, but, somehow, they do not know anything about Him! How many others know nothing about the one they call Lord? And beyond that, how many of us are working for the Lord, yet fail to have a RELATIONSHIP with him. I can’t help but remember Jesus saying, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers.” (Matt. 7:21-23) These are not just people who are Sunday and Wednesday attendees, or people who pray at the time of need, no, these are people who are working for the kingdom, but still lack a relationship with their Lord. How often have I fallen into this trap, into the Martha world of work and no prayer, and no listening? As I tell my readers almost everyday, when we want to know someone, want to have someone in our life, what do we do? We build a relationship with them. How? We talk to them and we listen. We spend time with them. How can we have a relationship with God if we do not listen to what he says, if we do not read His word and dwell in His presence? I am such a hypocrite, because although I know these things, shamefully, how often do I fail to make them occur.
Each day in Panama does not fail to be a challenge to me. By this time, the challenge is not in the physical (I prefer the heat to AC, a cold shower is a tool to cool me off or wake me up, and killing the grande cockroach is exhilarating more than terrifying now!), but rather the challenges of the day are spiritual and emotional. I have had no choice but to stand face to face against my weaknesses, my ignorance, my sins, and my thorns. I am so thankful to be here with Rachel, one of the very top people who knows me best, because she is faithful like her Master to stay beside me as I come to know the ugly side of myself. Because, the truth is, when you are stripped of everything that once covered your flaws (grades, accomplishments, reputation), you easily lie speechless on the floor, feeling vulnerable to even the little fly on the wall.
But, God is so faithful, and He has not stopped being with us each day. Obviously, we would not be here without Him, but I cannot imagine confronting so many ghosts of my own without His grace, His mercy, His forgiveness, His commitment. And, one thing that I have become completely sure of in the little time that we have been in Panama, and really, just since the Bible studies in Curundu have begun, the Bible holds answers for every struggle that we will face in this world. It may take reading the temptation of Jesus ten times in a row to see and truly understand how Jesus overcame Satan and how Satan still used manipulation (even manipulating the very words of God to His own son!), but I have never believed so strongly before that the more we pray for clarity, the more we pray for wisdom, the more we pray for responsibility with His word, the more He fulfills us and reveals His Truth to our unaware minds.
So, I sign off. I cannot tell you how humbled I have been since we landed in Panama over a month ago. Your prayers and thoughts are alive, felt, and answered here more than you ever knew. But please, remember, that the responsibility to share His word is not just for us in Panama, but it is for ALL believers, in the U.S., in Thailand, in Kenya, and beyond. We’re simply doing what our Lord Jesus entrusted us (His church) to do before He ascended back to His throne. It’s not a responsibility that we can payoff our ministers and missionaries to complete, but one that we must do ourselves. All of us. Together. If we all begin to take seriously the message of the Lord, then we can be the aroma of Christ that Paul (2 Cor. 2:15) wrote about so many years ago. I pray that you all are blessed richly in love, truth, and faithfulness, and that your neighbors, will be blessed by your presence in their lives and the Gospel that you may share to them, as it was once shared to you. Please pray the same for me, as well.
Rae and I leave this afternoon for the national youth convention, so please keep us all in your prayers as well travel and as hundreds of young people gather in His name, while the rest of the country is celebrating Carnaval, aka Mardi Gras. Pray for these kids that they will seek Him with all of their hearts, minds, and soul.
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